Friday, October 21, 2011

Rival Poopers

I am currently dealing with a rival pooper. I have a 10:00am poop schedule – daily. Like clockwork. Ten.

Well recently SOMEBODY on my floor has become a 10:00am pooper with me. And to answer your question, YES there are 2 seperate bathrooms (not a multiple stall situation). SO I mean technically we could both poop at once and be done with it. (Although I prefer the pink bathroom because broccoli guy poops in the green one everyday at 8:48am and that shit lingers until after lunch)

But simultaneaous pooping even in seperate bathrooms creates anxiety. A contest almost. I can’t consciously simultaneously poop with another UNLESS it is a spoken contest that both parties have acknowledged.

So what do I do? Beat the rush and get to the bathroom around 9:58? That way I could make her nervous… that someone may be on too her poop schedule and forcing her to pinch it until 10:28 (I average 8 minutes to poop and then there is the mandatory minimum 20 min wait time until the Oust has successfully eliminated any poop scent and odor causing bacteria).

OR I could go downstairs. But that is a WHOLE OTHER poop schedule network which would take MONTHS to figure out. I’d hate to be the poop invader that threw a wrench in their poop schedule.

I think I understand why monkeys fling this stuff. It is POWERFUL.


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